songs to remember team five (the what your best friend knows remix)
by sarsaparillia
Summary: Konohamaru's new genin team is nothing but trouble. — next gen, drabble!series.
1. stay positive

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
><strong>dedication<strong>: to les, who enables me.  
><strong>notes<strong>: I CAN'T GET THIS STUPID IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD CHRIST  
><strong>notes2<strong>: Kaori is Suigetsu and Karin's sprog.

**title**: stay positive  
><strong>summary<strong>: It was only day three. — Konohamaru, Sarada, Bolt, Kaori.

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"What did I do to deserve this."

It wasn't a question.

The three genin standing in front of him where the progeny of some of Konoha's most influential people, but that didn't mean they weren't shitty brats. Case in point: the Hokage's only son was currently tied to a stump in the middle of a practise field, and his two teammates were eating their lunches without a single passing thought to the boy trapped between them.

Moral of the story?

_His team were completely shitty brats_.

Konohamaru pinched the bridge of his nose. He should have _expected_ something like this. Aburame-sensei took a sick, twisted joy in assigning him the worst teams possible—and hell, somewhere Hatake-sama was probably snickering into his porn. He had something to do it, absolutely.

This was punishment for something Konohamaru had done as a child, he could just _feel_ it.

"Sarada-chaaaaaan!"

"Shut up, Bolt, if you'd just done what I told you, we wouldn't be _in_ this situation," one of the girls said. Her hair was dark, cut short and choppy, and she was always pushing her glasses up her nose. She was nibbling delicately at a rice ball, a short katana set neatly in its sheath at her side.

"Give him a break, he's stupid," yawned his third student. She grinned, mouth full of shark teeth, long cotton candy hair brushing at her cheek. She flicked a little dirt off her skirt. "S'not his fault he can't get it together."

The former was Uchiha Sarada, a titan in miniature. The latter was Hozuki Kaori, exactly the same.

In retrospect, Konohamaru would realize that they had been running the show the entire time.

"Guys, I'm _hungry_," Bolt moaned.

"Deal with it," Kaori grinned again before digging those awful teeth of herd into her bento. Konohamaru tried to mitigate the wince, and failed spectacularly.

"This doesn't look like teamwork," he said, mostly because he couldn't help himself. This test was all about teamwork, and his team was just not working.

"It's not supposed to, Konohamaru-sensei," Sarada said matter-of factly, with an imperious little shake of her head. "Until he apologizes, he's not getting fed."

"Have _mercy_—"

"Zip it, Bolt!"

He watched the three of them squabble like the children they were for a few more minutes. He wasn't going to tell them how to win. He wasn't going to tell them anything at all.

Instead, he pulled a book out of his vest and settled down to get some well-deserved reading done.

This lasted all of ten seconds. Ten blissful seconds.

"SENSEI! THEY'RE TEASING ME—"

Gods above, they were going to be the death of him. He put the book back in his vest—there was something to be said for Jiraiya's writing at work, no wonder Hatake-sama was always carting them around—and heaved himself up from the tree to survey his team.

There was food and snot everywhere.

It was horrible.

Sarada and Kaori grinned evil twin grins, cheerfully unrepentant. Bolt whined, not so cheerful, not so unrepentant.

Konohamaru sighed.

It was only day three.

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_fin_.

**notes3**: this might turn into a dumb little drabble series because Konohamaru having to deal with Team 7's offspring is legit my favourite thing.


	2. used to be one of the rotten ones

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
><strong>dedication<strong>: to the girls. I know, I know, I know.  
><strong>notes<strong>: here. just. take it.

**title**: used to be one of the rotten ones  
><strong>summary<strong>: She was the _devil_. — Konohamaru, Hanabi.

—

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"Why are you like this."

This wasn't a question.

(Konohamaru spent a lot of his time asking questions that weren't really questions. This was his life now. How was this his life now. How.)

Hanabi grinned up at him, all of her teeth on display. It was terrifying, and Konohamaru was man enough to admit that. She was small, and young for jounin, but that didn't mean that she wasn't any less lethal for it.

He hadn't really expected her to take a team, though, not this early.

But there she was, sitting in Ichiraku with chopsticks between her jaws and a steaming bowl of ramen in front of her, chatting animatedly with the Akimichi girl. Or at least, she had been, until she'd caught sight of him, and jumped off the stool like it was on fire. She sauntered over to him, hipped popped out, and that awful grin across her lips.

Konohamaru swallowed bravely.

"Kono-chan, you really gotta step up your game. Chouchou says Bolt was tied up for an _hour_. Is she for real?"

"I was tied up for three," he said, and that was probably the dumbest thing to escape his mouth in a week.

"That," she said, eyebrow raised over pale clear eyes, "doesn't surprise me. Shouldn't you be avoiding that with your own team, though? Shitty teamwork, I have to say."

"You _know_ who I have to deal with, I have—"

Hanabi waved him off with a toss of her head. "Yeah, yeah, you have Nee-san's kid. And Uchiha-san's. And _Karin-sensei's_ kid. I'm actuall kind of amazed you're still alive."

"Is that a compliment?"

"Oh, you're cute," Hanabi smiled, and patted him sympathetically on the shoulder. "Don't worry, it'll get better."

"You're still a _kid_," Konohamaru managed.

"And I'm a better teacher than you are, _old man_!"

"Hanabi, _why are you like this_."

She laughed, and headed back to her team. The lucky bitch had Nara Shikadai and Yamanaka Inojin. She'd have _no trouble at all_ getting them to do what she wanted them to do—Hanabi was terrifying, and the kids were probably all going to inherit that.

"Oi, Konohamaru-sensei, did you buy any ramen for us?"

His team was standing in the doorway, all curious and too talented for their own good. Kaori and Sarada were linked at the elbow, already shoving Bolt out of the way and bantering loudly at their classmates. They paid him not another iota of attention.

_Fuck_.

Hanabi looked over her shoulder, and she _winked_.

Konohamaru moaned.

She was the _devil_.

—

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_fin_.


	3. girls like you

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
><strong>dedication<strong>: to Mars, my Burning Lady of the Unrelenting Flames.  
><strong>notes<strong>: barfs.

**title**: girls like you  
><strong>summary<strong>: "Dandelions. Really." — Sarada/Inojin.

—

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"Would you quit that?"

"Quit what?"

"That! You are making that face!"

"This is my face, Flower, it's the only one I've got," Inojin said, unperturbed. They were flopped down beneath the big tree in the Academy training yard, trying to escape the oppressively drippy summer heat. Their teams were squabbling in the distant flower field, Konohamaru-sensei was flirting vigorously with a smirking Hanabi-sensei, and Sarada's companion was drawing, _like always_, and he was _making a stupid face_.

"Don't call me that," Sarada said, deeply unimpressed. She pushed her glasses up her nose with a flick of her fingers, and scrunched her face at him. "It's degrading."

"What shall I call you, then? Cosmos?"

"Not cosmos," she warned him, dark eyes narrowing rapidly. They were both perfectly aware of their mothers' particular affection for the cosmos—Sarada understood shadows, because her Papa lived in them; she had no wish to stand in her Mama's, not now, not ever. Especially not to Inojin, with his stupid-nice hair and his stupid-nice eyes and his stupid-nice _face_.

(Being Uchiha Sakura's daughter was stress enough.)

"Dandelions, then," he said, head bent over his sketchpad. "Dandy, for short. I like that."

"Dandelions. Really."

"Really," he said, and there it was, the dumb smirk, the way his lips twitched up at the thought of driving her up the wall a little more than was necessary. It made her hot and itchy all over, and like she wanted to dig her teeth into him until he hurt the way she did. It wasn't even _sane_.

"Why?" Sarada asked, instead of psychoanalyzing herself. Her Mama said she did it too much as it was.

And Inojin reached over to tuck dark flyaway strands of hair behind her ear. His hand lingered at her cheek for just a second too long, and then he was breathing deep to answer her.

"Because they remind me of you," he said.

Sarada coloured high in her cheeks. "Shut up, you, this is not a yes to ramen," she said, and punched him in the arm.

But it didn't stop her from leaning into his space just a little, little, little bit more.

—

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_fin_.


End file.
